Lately, I don't really wanna know.....

I really have no idea what the hell is up with me at this current space in time. I have no real reason to be as blue as I am, but I can't help but feel that way. I'm now going to try and break it down.

First off, I have tonsillitus, and as a result of my severly swollen throat, I have not been sleeping all too well, as well, I literally can not breathe at the moment, especially lying down.

Secondly, Jimmy has buggered off back to York, he hasn't been gone a week, and I have only received to VERY brief replies to the texts I have sent him. Maybe, it is my conscience trying to figure out if it is all worth while, I do not know.

Thirdly, the severe lack of fun time and in relation to this, spends, is bringing me _down. This doesn't help the fact that work want me to do five shifts a week, on top of my degree work, when I told them I am struggling with three shifts. Makes me wonder if it is worth keeping a bloody job. *_* By the way, my bosses have also gone on relief for two weeks to another pub,leaving four bar staff to run the pub. Oh, If only I could drink right now. :)

Fourth(ly? Nope That can't be a word) I recently went backt o the routine of the Wenesday night quiz at the Eden Arms. Should be joyous right? Wrong, the whole night, i felt ignored by my other two 'freinds', not because of the tonsillitus, but because they went everywhere together, the conversation was between them two, all night, and not once did i get asked how things were coming along either with work, or even with my degree course. Yet, i asked them how things were and they replied. Every other time I tried to participate, I got butted out of the conversation. Again, is it really worth it anymore?

So, in spite of all this depression that seems to have fallen on me lately, I thought I would try a spot of retail therapy. Guess what? Made me feel even worse, not even the few items I grabbed (from the sale rack) made me smile the eensiest (again, probably not a real word) bit.

Right, I have ten minutes to get ready for my dreaded Thursday Night shift, so that will be all.

Love to You all

Dizz xx